Adult Coloring Books
Decided to turn my own frustrations into something everyone might like and maybe could use. Probably going to win a Pulitzer.
Theater
Burning House :: Play
Burning House is a play I wrote that is loosely based on the time my childhood therapist stalked my family (Yep, that happened).
I produced Burning House for the New York Theater Festival’s 2020 Winterfest where it was a Finalist for Best Play.
In addition to writing and producing, I created the marketing – one sheet, web site, etc.
Burning House was an Official Selection for the Beverly Arts Center’s 2021 New Playwright’s Festival and the Winterfest performance received a rave review from theater critic Peter Filichia, in which he even used the word “Magnificent” to describe the writing. Hear for yourself below.
What Norman Saw :: Play
What if you realized your child might be a monster?
The Concept
What Norman Saw is an exploration of how unconditional love can become an unmanageable burden.
The Story
When Marie’s estranged ex-convict son, Donny, shows up on her doorstep unexpectedly, she thinks it might be a chance to reconnect. And it is, even if things are a little rocky at first. Then, just as they begin to reforge their relationship, a young girl in Marie’s neighborhood goes missing.
Did Donny have something to do with her disappearance? Some people think so. Should Marie believe him when he says he didn’t? It’s not easy considering he doesn’t have a great alibi.
When the girl’s body is found, Donny is arrested and brought to trial. Marie is left to decide how well she knows her son’s heart, how far she will go to defend him, and what it means to face her own past mistakes.
What Norman Saw won Best Play in the Jewish Ensemble Theatre’s 2022 Festival of Plays, was a Second Rounder (top 10%) in the Austin Film Festival, and is currently being developed for Off-Broadway.
Zoom :: Play
Created in response to a year of living through the stress of the pandemic, Zoom is a short play that addresses the pain, stress, and hopelessness that were inevitable even in the earliest days. A monologue delivered from the perspective of the now ubiquitous app, Zoom speaks directly to anyone who has ever had to use their laptop to connect with the outside world to remind us all that the crisis won’t last forever but while it does, none of us has to be alone.
Zoom premiered in the Theater Resources Unlimited TRUSpeak – Hear Our Voices! 2021 fundraiser and starred Jim Brochu, Brenda Braxton, Robert Cuccioli, Ann Harada, Jana Robbins, and Dickie Hearts under the direction of Dennis Corsi and was chosen to open the Left Edge’s 2022 Hindsight Theater Festival (below).
Novels
Formerly Fingerman
(Simon & Schuster)
Brad Fingerman was an art director in the glamorous world of New York advertising. He had the respect of his peers, a beautiful wife, and a bright future.
That is, his future was bright before he spectacularly nuked his career, discovered his wife's infidelity, and witnessed a high-profile Mafia hit in a Midtown elevator. Now Brad's unemployed, divorced, and the government's key witness in a major murder trial.
Except Brad didn't actually see the murder.
So Brad lied, joined the Witness Protection Program, and entrusted his new identity to an FBI agent with her career on the make and a frighteningly committed bodyguard. Now he has to fake his way through the trial of the century and try to reassemble a meaningful life as his fellow witnesses are methodically assassinated.
Reviews for Formerly Fingerman
"This tautly paced, very witty novel will delight anyone intrigued by the chance to start over." – Booklist
"Formerly Fingerman is one of the funniest books I've read in years…Christopher Moore fans will love this book." – Lily Tomlin
"Joey Nelms and I performed comedy together in New York City in early 90s. Joe has now gone from being a guy who recommends great books to a guy who writes them. This new one moves brilliantly through a world he lived in and one he created. Plus, it's hilarious. So please enjoy the rantings of this genius lunatic. My old friend, Joe." – Artie Lange, author of #1 New York Times bestseller Too Fat to Fish
"A smart mix of humor and humanity in the spirit of John Kennedy Toole and Douglas Adams. If A Confederacy Of Dunces and The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy had a baby, it would be best friends with Formerly Fingerman." – Jane Wagner, Bestselling author of The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
"Riveting, hilarious and strangely moving, this novel will catch you from the first sentence, and keep you caught until it lets you go, spent and wiser. From the first sentence, Fingerman yells in your ear, "Make me into a movie!!!" Nelms has a unique style all his own, modern, terse, yet completely complete. Nothing is left out, nothing is overlooked, and everything is observed with the eye of a master. This is a writer to watch. He's going all the places you want to be." – Robert Goolrick, author of #1 New York Times bestseller A Reliable Wife
The Last Time I Died
(Simon & Schuster)
Christian Franco is truly embracing the despair of divorce, doing nothing to slow the implosion of his career, friendships, and relationships. He camps out at bars and picks fights, finding that getting his ass kicked allows him his only meditative moments, something he explores with sardonic zeal.
Nine years of his childhood are entirely repressed, a consequence of his father killing his mother when Christian was eight. But a single clear memory resurfaces when Christian is beaten to death in a bar brawl: a memory of his stoop in Brooklyn, his father in the back of a cop car, and his mother being wheeled away on a gurney. He is resuscitated, and he craves more memories.
What follows is Christian's increasingly desperate means to kill himself and be revived, slowly piecing together snapshots from his childhood to understand how this rediscovered self-knowledge could make his wife come back. Alternating between heartbreaking memories of a happier time, Christian revels in the underbelly of New York City in a spectacular downward spiral.
Reviews for The Last Time I Died
The Last Time I Died is a maelstrom of brilliant prose--dark, delectable, devastating, and utterly, utterly compelling. If this is Joe Nelms' debut, watch out, world. Chuck Palahniuk fans will love this book." – Sara Gruen, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Water for Elephants
"One of the most compelling first novels in recent memory." – Booklist (Starred Review)
"Christian Franco, the creative and charismatic protagonist of Nelms's debut novel, is like an indefatigable class clown, darkly funny and constantly stirring the pot...a relatable modern man and Nelms' crackling prose moves like lightning." – Publishers Weekly
"Christian's rage-fueled quest to know the truth of his childhood comes in strobe-light snapshot chapters, flashes of manic action much like Chuck Palahniuk's transgressional narratives.” – Kirkus Reviews
"The Last Time I Died falls in that same category Important Movies fall into, where you call it a film and it's deep and powerful and gut wrenching... You should read it, like you should read Eli Weisel's Night or Solomon Northup's Twelve Years a Slave, like you should watch Schindler's List and Hotel Rwanda." – Amanda Byrne, The Wednesday Review
"Occasionally a book comes along that is so fresh and so different it just stands out. The Last Time I Died is one of those books." – Crimespree Magazine
"You won't be able to put this book down until you know what happens." – The Bookworm Sez
"Funny, disturbing, and full of sharp elbows, The Last Time I Died is ultimately a story of redemption, and Nelms delivers a powerful, punishing, and, amazingly enough, hopeful novel." – Garth Stein, New York Times bestselling author of The Art Of Racing In The Rain
"Joe Nelms's masterful debut is a heat-seeking missile headed straight for your gut, and, be warned, it does not miss its mark." – Robert Goolrick, #1 New York Times bestselling author of A Reliable Wife and Heading Out To Wonderful
"From page one, this novel thrusts you into the fraught mind of a man whose life was ruined before it even began, a nobody trapped inside his own lethal obsessions, and the effect is so gripping, so tragic and chilling, that you wouldn't escape even if you could. With stark searing prose and keen insights, Joe Nelms will make you feel what it's like to dive headfirst into disintegration just to discover who you truly are and finally get some peace. The story will tattoo itself to your psyche. You'll be glad and grateful." – Jeff Backhaus, author of The Rental Sister
Short Stories
Lindsey/Jane is the gripping story of an innocent young woman who gets kidnapped and forced into the world of human trafficking to work as a sex slave.
Fresh out of rehab, and on the verge of permanently becoming a Hollywood has-been, veteran and (formerly) well-respected TV producer Jillian Newkirk accepts the only job left in town for him - running the ratings-challenged Thursday Night Wrasslin’ for his ex-fiance’s struggling network.
GMO is the poignant, insightful tale of beaten down, mid-level food scientist Gordon Miller Osborne. Depressed by his life and abused by his boss, Gordon contemplates suicide, but decides against it at the last minute, only to become involved in a work related accident that could end his career. When Gordon's overbearing boss finds out about the accident and the superpowers it created in Gordon, he insists on following the strict corporate protocol of the mammoth food company they both work for. After all, those powers were created on company time, they belong to the company. Can things get any worse for Gordon? You'd be surprised.
A short story about a unique friendship between two misfits – a gay, bipolar athlete and an albino little person – who find each other at the right time, only to lose each other soon after.